I could start at the beginning but it seems so long ago and so complicated. So I will start with today.
I now have almost 5 months as a sober alcoholic. I would have had 9 months except I had a slip. Or maybe a relapse. I'm not sure what you would call it but it was just one day. Of course I regret it but after guilting over it for weeks, my friends in Alcoholics Anonymous told me to put down the bat, stop beating myself and move on.
It's the Friday before Labor Day and I don't have any big plans for the weekend. I'm recently divorced and this is my weekend with the kids so no meetings. I have to get a reliable, mature babysitter so I can get out to an occasional weekend meeting when I have the kids. The last one I went to was Wednesday night so it's going to be Monday until I go. That is way too long for a newbie like me.
Which reminds me of the saying "Meeting Makers Make It". So true I am sure. I am starting to like the AA phrases because they are starting to make sense.
I always liked to drink, not so much for the flavor although there were some yummy concoctions out there. But mostly for the effect. I still remember the first time I got drunk. I was 14 years old and stole a bottle of red wine from my parents house. It tasted nasty and I shared it with a friend although I am sure I had more than her. I'll never forget that numb feeling that started in my limbs and worked it's way up to my brain. And I loved it.
If only I could turn back the clock and warn that girl not to drink because that was the start of her alcoholism.
