Speaker Meeting

I went to a speaker meeting on Sunday afternoon that I get to a few times a month. When I walked in the speaker-seeker asked me to share my story because the person scheduled had canceled at the last minute. My first response was, “But I've never done this before and I don’t have anything to say!” Then I told the man who asked that I had to ask my sponsor first since I hadn’t shared my story yet.

I texted and called her but she wasn’t answering and I had to make a decision fast so with the encouragement of my friends I said yes. I was so nervous that my hands were shaking. I feel intimidated sharing at large meetings how would I ever find enough to say for 20 or 30 minutes talking alone to all these people?

I silently prayed for guidance as I sat in the seat next to the chair and after he introduced me something remarkable happened. A feeling of calmness swept over me and as I looked out at all those friendly faces and I knew I was doing the right thing. The butterflies left my stomach and all the nervousness I had a few minutes prior was gone.

I spoke for 40 minutes. And I thought I didn’t have anything to say lol

I shared most of my story but there are a few things that are still raw and hurting me so I left them out. I shared my mistakes about early recovery and what I do now that helps keep me sober: prayer, meetings, working with my sponsor and working the steps. I know all the tools of the program are equally important but the one that helps me the most is my network of sober friends.

When I was finished I felt a new sense of belonging in the fellowship. And relief. A lot of people came up to me afterwards to thank me for sharing my story and to tell me how they related. I talked to a woman who was at her very first AA meeting and 24 hours sober.

Life is good.