Faith

At last night's meeting the topic was faith. Our lack of it, how it's helped us in recovery, how we found it. As usual I heard some great shares and while I didn't get a chance to speak it made me think about how far I've come in believing that there is someone, something out there in the universe that is looking out for my best interest. There has to be because I was close to death at the end of my drinking when I was so out of control and unable to stop.

I didn't immediately have faith in AA. In fact, the first few weeks I didn't believe anyone had been sober as long as they claimed. They had to drink on the weekends or when alone. Because that's all I knew. But I came to believe when I saw these genuinely happy people whose lives were no longer focused around drinking. And I wanted that.

The last share was the best of all. A man, probably in his early thirties, and who has been sober 7 months told us about his last "run". He had been living in his car for a few weeks while on a drug and alcohol binge. He wasn't eating or sleeping much. His wife found him by the GPS chip in his cell phone. She knocked on his car window and asked him if that's how he wanted to die and if that's how he wanted their young daughter to remember him. She took him to a treatment facility and when he got out he had to deal with outstanding arrest warrants.

He went to court last fall and the trial was put on hold. He went back in December and again it was put on hold. In late February he faced a prosecutor who wanted the state to give him the maximum sentence of 5 years (he didn't say what the crime was). But after the judge saw how he was turning his life around, he gave him probation instead. This man was back living at home, he was active in AA, and he had a job he showed up for everyday.

His voice cracked as he said that faith is what saved him. He knows he didn't do this alone. It was the fellowship of his program and a loving God who gave him a second chance at life.

That was a powerful message.