A few weeks ago my sponsor gave me worksheets so I could start working on Step 4. I still haven't started although I've read them over. I feel overwhelmed at what will follow in Step 5 where I have to spill the beans and tell her all of this crap.
It's all fear based and I guess I'm worried about her reaction to some of the insane things I have done in my past. She's so nice and normal and had a high bottom .... she didn't lose her marriage, job, family. She knows the basics of my story but I haven't told her any of the really bad stuff because I'm embarrassed.
I've heard over and over again in AA that I am only as sick as my secrets. And I've been warned that I have to do the program the correct way in order to stay sober. Not my way, taking little bits that are easier for me, but the way it was written in the Big Book. And Step 5 clearly states I have to share my complete story with someone.
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